HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!!!
oh man...today's teachers' day celebration is by far the best i've ever seen...totally filled with fun and laughter...and the video was not bad...super funny...but now i no face to see ppl le...XD

anyway...here's why teachers are soooooooooooooo important:
firstly, without teachers, there wouldn't be a sch!!
and without a sch, there wouldn't be us, students!!
and without students, shops selling textbooks and uniforms will lose money!!
and without business, Singapore's economy will fall!!
and without flourishing economy........ok...i think tats enough...hahas...
you all get the point!! TEACHERS ARE SUPER DUPER CHAO JI IMPORTANT!!!

well...today after the celebrations, i went to play soccer...then play for quite long...till i got cramp...ohoh...let me tell u wat happened when i got the cramp...
Caleb pass some super long ball to me...i was chionging forward then try to keep the ball in...i did!! but then i got calf cramp...then i was lyk clutching to my calf and shouting "OUCH!!! cramp cramp cramp!!"...so i lie down on the floor...then WJ, who was nearest to me, i thought tat he would come help...well...he did luh...but...not immediately!! he stand there "wah...damn big la!!"...LOL...then the rest all tell him help me instead of admiring the big muscles...=P

sigh...very tired...*yawn* i go slp le!! goodnite everyone!! haha



today chem prac...had half an hour left after i finished...then i look around(not supposed to but i was skilled enough to not be caught) realised all the others still doing...so i pretended to look busy...hahas..i guess somehow Mdm Toh noticed...so after the exam...we bumped into each other and she said "u finish quite early ah? no need check work one ah?"...lol...then today suppose to take pic with teachers give them for teachers day gift...rarr!! all dun wanna take...camera shy ba...hahas...Ms Pamela Tan the best..."wait until we look nice and presentable"...XD went back to sch after tat to help out in the video for Teachers' Day...wah..i feel super malu...dun want come sch tomolo...will be laughing stork loh...tsk tsk...oh well...wats done is done..besides...its our last year...so mite as well do sth stupid...=DD then was late for jamming...then the amp got problem...zZzZ...so in the end i went to singing instead of guitar...wah...i dunno why but i felt lyk i could sing nicely...God's work in me! =D

okok...today's featured qn to ponder abt...
What is BFF?
source of the word: kimm's tag
meaning: have yet to know
what i think it means: Beef is Fast Food? nah...think it probably means Best Frens Foreva...






just seeing myself grow up is quite interesting...and seeing how i grow physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. =)



nothing good feels good anymore

after today's paper...i really felt lyk a large boulder had been lifted from my brain...all the information just diffusing out into the environment...and i'm happy tat A MATH was quite easy. yeah...but i dunno why i jux didn't feel happy?? its as if i have this large big open space of happiness but i can only run around a small area? i jux dun have the energy to laugh lyk i used to...I'm definitely not smiling lyk i mean it...u noe everytime when things worth rejoicing happens in my life...i always think of you...and i really want to tell u abt it lyk how i always used to in the past...but then as i look at things now...i nvr can do it again...oh well...i guess i've jux gotta get used to the new lifestyle...the new me...

jammed at home with keith...electric guitar, acoustic guitar and a cd player...
i really need You now Lord...more than ever
singing love songs to God...
tomolo's chem prac...sigh...no mood to study...wheres the satisfaction of doing anything? =S then after tat go jam from 5-7...2hrs with frens and God...definitely looking forward to it...

well...was jux msged by some anonymous person who asked me for my locker no...refused to reveal his/her identity to me till i checked out my locker tomolo...
well...jux sth random...i guess its not really important huh is it?



For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for life;
Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.
I cried out to You, O Lord;
And to the Lord made supplication:
"What profit is there in my blood,
When I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise You?
Will it declare Your truth?
Hear, O Lord, and have mercy on me;
Lord, be my helper!"
You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,
To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.

I still thank God for you



i guess things in life don't always turn out the way they're supposed to...
take for example the picture of a granny but if u look at it from another direction its a young lady...another example would be 2x2=4 but square root of 4 may not be 2 but can also be -2...or how compatible things are but yet they nvr seem to get along...things aren't always what they seem are they? and dun u get pissed off when its lyk tat? hahas...

after all tat's happened in my life...i think God really made me open my eyes to a lot of stuff unknown...He made me realise jux how fragile the things in this world are...well...maybe not in a physical sense...lyk how damn good frens can be jux so freaking far jux after a change of heart and words of honesty from the bottom of it...since when did our teachers or parents ever mention abt the negative effects of moral values? it has always been "we should not tell lies!!" or "honesty is the BEST policy"...sigh...sometimes i wished i could jux go back in time to change wat i've done...have u ever wat would happen if the things tat happened didn't happen? gosh...we would still be talking, laughing, joking lyk theres no tomolo...looking eye to eye, waving, smiling, saying "hi"...really regretted doing what i did...maybe if i kept it to myself things would be so much better...=)

so right now i'm jux thinking how to forget you and all the things tat happen...and i noe for myself tat its impossible to...coz either way it would still hurt the same...maybe not to u...why would u feel hurt?well...really hope ur not...guess i'll jux be going home straight everyday...less on the com...jux one-to-one with my books...waiting for time to fly by...and soon it would jux be a really sad bye-bye for me...mite as well jux erase each other from our heads to ease wateva pain we may have.

really having a bad headache now...i feel so drained...so...demoralised...so...lifeless...so...not myself...rarr
i really need to chill!! jux take a break from EVERY SINGLE THING...
and having a kit kat would be the last thing on my list...
seriously...all i want now is jux to go to tat secret place...
where there's nothing else but me and You...
longing for Your presence...
Lord, take all this heavy load of crap off me...i'm tired of carrying it all by myself...
i'm jux tired...

really tired right now...

sigh...



so how've you been lately
seems so long since we last talked
i guess i'm fine?
or maybe I'm just talking cock

really miss the good old days
where we could just talk forever
we were good friends
or maybe even better

with all the pig callings
and all, it really made my day
but look at us now
what more can i say

the distance btw us
just drifting away
is this the cost
that i have to pay?

perhaps i've gone too far
crossing the line unexpectedly
you've stepped into my life
sigh...don't you see?

that step took a lot of courage
but i didn't realise it was a cliff
i've stepped off of it
with nothing but a belief

and right now i'm falling
just like my whole world
but fortunately
I've got the Saviour of the world

A God who understands
all the pain i'm going thru
i pray everyday
just for my sky to be clear blue

You reach out Your hand on the water
i believed and i stepped out
but what am i doing now
screaming and shouting out loud

i know You didn't bring me out
just for me to drown
but why am i 10 feet under
and upside down?

and there You are with open arms
holding me and keeping me safe
whispering with a still small voice
where is Your faith?



have you ever cried in your slp before? well...i dunno how i did it but....yea...i did it!! hahas...the nite before i was jux thinking abt a lot of stuff...filling my mind with every possible thing i could think of...but i realised only 2 things came to mind...sigh...the things were sad things...something tat i've hid from everyone...and only till tat nite when i was all alone did i take down those masks that hid those things...then the next morning all the tear marks on my face...lol...i looked lyk EMO KID!! XD

oh well...my weekend has been fine...watched some movie tat has yet to be released in cinemas...its a documentary called "the artic life"...shows the life of a polar bear and a walrus in the artics...and man did the baby polar bear look cute!! hahas...but i wouldn't say the same abt the baby walrus.tsk tsk...SORRY!! :P
then went for teacher's day presentation practice...playing bass on tat day...then i think i dun usually play a bass? so now my finger blister...rarr!! oh well...the band looks damn cool!! drum, recorders, violins, piano, acoustic guitar, bass guitar...then me and elijah the only lao jiao there...hahas...but seeing the small kids play the instruments...gosh...they're super cute la...

back to exams again tomolo...sigh...GO ME!! wonder if cheering myself helps? =S
woohoo~~ ALL THE WAY NAT!!



Prelims Day 5: Physics Paper 2 & A Math Paper 1
sian la...damn turn off...was flipping thru the Physics paper to check whether got the correct no. of pages...then while flipping noticed a lot of weird qns that i dunno how to do...and when it started, the first qn already so difficult...zZzZ...disappointment again for my physics...so i was lyk hoping tat A Math would cheer me up...BUT...the paper so hard...as in seriously la...to me it was hard...i noe some of u found it easy...oh well...at least i managed to do majority of the qns...probably an A2? =P summore they say A Math Paper 2 harder...zZzZ...nvm!! at least now i noe wats gonna come out for the other paper

A Math Paper 2 Predictions:
1) Circular Measure
2) Vectors
3) Relative Velocity
4) Linear Law (graph)
5) Sets

shld be coming out la since they didn't appear in today's paper...
RARR!!! then i broke the stupid council room mirror!! i kick the ball then *piang*!
whole mirror shatter...sian...7 years of bad luck? hahas...shall not be superstitious! XD then had phototaking...changed to my blazer...took COUNCIL photo...then after tat i chiong to change into my BB uniform in 10 min...take BB pic...after tat it was jux slack time for me...then damn scary...amanda suddenly walk up to me...

Amanda: er...Nat...before you go...as in leave the sch...*long pause*...
Me: *looks at her innocently*
Amanda: can i have your no?
Me: erm....o.....k???? *walks off*

ahhhhh..........she has been asking for my number since weeks ago luh...rarr!! dun care le...hmm...so today's featured phrase is A HUNGRY MAN IS AN ANGRY MAN! but what if the hungry man is smiling? so the qn is...can an angry man be smiling? hmm...........................i shall let u all ponder on tat! =D

anyway...though i'm really jux concentrating on my studies...i can't help but notice that the things around me and what they have developed into jux turns around and mocks me...some of u mite not get wat im saying la...but those who are experiencing same prob shld empathise with me. its lyk...u jux see the things around u...enemies to being good frens...frens to being lovers...and many other stuff...seriously...i feel lyk i'm being mocked and laughed at...not literally being laughed at...lyk if u use ur super duper good imagination u can visualise the ppl laughing at u but they are actually not...hahas...but i was reminded of the verse in the bible which said
do not conform to the patterns of this world
and tats wat really kept me going despite feeling i'm being laughed at...lol...



wah...sian...more added pressure!! someone betting on me to top A MATH!! lol...and he gave me a thought...hmm...
since mid year i got 90 and i got second in lvl...92 was the top in lvl...
then i for prelim get 100...i see whether got anyone get 102 a not...HAHA...
kkz...i muz jiayou!! A MATH!!! RARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! but first i muz conquer SETS!! which is lyk the easiest topic in A MATH...sian...it would be so malu if i get defeated thx to sets!! =P



Prelims Day 4: Biology Practical!!
ok...today's prac was quite unexpected....no chemicals involved...so sian la...its lyk...the only thing tat i look forward to in a practical is when u mix chemicals then you jux stare in awe at wat happens next...at least we did iodine test...but it was quite sian...and then...I LABEL MY DIAGRAM WRONGLY!!! RARR!!!! i go name the skin of the fruit RECEPTACLE instead of PERICARP!!! NOOOOOooooooooooooo...no wonder Mr Firhad stopped at my table and looked at the diagram!!! darn...then me and yibei go play with the long bean fruit...HAHA...we go cut here cut there...then see all the juice come out...fascinating hur? lol...after tat kana scolded by Mr Firhad...then he go write on the white board: "DO NOT CUT SPECIMEN W1! (IMMEDIATE IR)" IR stands for irregularity report...its sort of lyk a pink form...but for exams...lol...then after prac which was abt 9 plus? went to the lecture theatre to wait till 1.45!!! so long la...jux sit there dunno do wat...then i decided to rest coz i felt sick...and i didn't noe there were ppl who cared for me in my class...so sweet la!! keep shouting "eyeyey!! dun talk so loud...nathanael trying to rest!" awww....yea....so i slept till abt 12 plus? then studied abit here and there...weeeeeeee~~~

ok...i jux realised WJ posted abt me in his blog...cheeky fellow...and when i read it i was laughing lyk hell...damn funny la...heres wat he wrote:

ok for today's featured dude.
mmhmm. lets see.
lets have.
oh damn no one's coming into my mind.
oof theres one.
the one they call the running machine. THAT big cow. the smile like i don't really mean it guy
nathanael
lol. was thinking abt soccer tml. then remembered he initiated it. so there. he's our featured dude tonight!!.
u nvr see him stop smiling. so for smile allergic ppl. pls avoid looking at him. or u can bring some masking tape. since he just cant seem to close his mouth. lol. nice dude.to girls. ^.^ i won't elaborate
lol. he's a damn running machine. like he can run and run and run and run and run. and run somemore. he's like a horse. anyway. but that doesn't make him a very good winger cos he cant really cross. like i'll tell him. "nat gimme a header" *crosses the ball to me at waist height*
but he's a nice guy. well that depends on when u poke him. poke him when he's doing work and u DIE. lol. feel his wrath. but apart from that. he's really quite rap-able too.

wah...sui loh..so i not nice to guys?? sian...lyk tat loh...lyk tat loh...hahas...thx for dedicating a post to me!! XD tomolo physics and A math...
and i didn't realise there are ppl who expect me to top the lvl for A math...

Allicia: He cannot sick tomolo...he need to top A Math!!
Kuei Der: Not if i can help it

competitor leh...lol...aiya...healthy competition ah!! i noe ur A math very good...may the best A Math-er win! =DD i think Physics im gonna die la...i noe nuts abt it...aiya...JIAYOU!!!



sian...today my nose felt lyk it ran a freaking long marathon? and its still running...from morning all the way till now!! guess how many tissue packets i use le?? come on!! anyone??? i used up 16 packets and still counting!! weeeeee~~ bought 32 packets of tissue today for $1.95!! so cheap rite!! then i went to calculate how much it would cost if i bought 32 packets from the sch bookshop...it would be $6.40!! wah lau!! profit of $4.45!! which is abt $0.14 profit per tissue packet sold by the sch bookshop!!! anyway..im not discouraging u all to not patronise the sch bookshop la...im jux saying elsewhere sell cheaper...hahas...(hopefully the sch bookshop dun lose business XD)

Prelims Day 3:
E Math Paper 1 today. didn't expect it to be tat easy...as in...seriously...it was super easy!! but i was careless!! minus one mark coz i drew a straight line instead of a curve!! RARR!!! soo..........probably 79/80?? hahas...hopefully la hopefully! =P
then Mr Ganesan came up to me...then look at me...

Mr G: can get full marks ah?
Me: *smiles & shakes head*
Mr G: go and check la
Me: check a lot of times le
Mr G: *smiles* so u check until flawless ah??
Me: no....
Mr G: if u dun get full marks ah i'm gonna skin u alive!!

wah...threaten seh...then during breakfast, Allicia had the same convosation with Mr G...but Mr G didn't threaten to skin her...he jux said he will laugh at her!! wah lau...laugh at her but skin me...eviL!! lol...went to JE library to study...in the end i spent half the time blowing my nose...then u see beside me one mountain of crushed up tissue paper!! tsk tsk...nex time i post the pics...XD

saw the doc...he gave me one day MC...but...I DUN CARE!! still gonna go sch do BIOLOGY PRACTICAL!!! RARR!!! the MC can't bring me down...all the way man!! =DD



ytd had sore throat...today??? sore throat plus flu!! zZzZ...anyway...i kinda lyk the feeling when u noe how u got ur sickness? i mean its lyk u can predict wat the doc would say...firstly...the sore throat was due to viral infection...then the virus sort of makes ur immune system go kookoo...so u are not protected from other bacteria attacks...tats why i got a flu...XD anyway...hope i dun get the info wrong..if not ill be damn malu la...hahas...

Prelims Day 2:
Geog paper today...ONLY geog paper...and it ended lyk around 9? so early la...anyway...the paper was do-able...managed to ans all the qns...but the problem is tat i dun think i answered correctly? hmm...i wonder if ill ever get an A for my combined humans...so...after the paper, i was sniffing away...then went to the council room...had A LOT of fun there "destroying" stuff! XD no luh...nvr destroy...so after tat went back home early...reached home at around 11...then slept all the way till 6 plus coz i couldn't take it...too sick le...RARR!!! go away la sore throat and flu!! shooo!!!

Prelims Day 3 Preview:
E MATH paper 1...2 hour paper...which means ill leave sch early again...sian......oh well...hopefully i do well man...adelin says tat i dun have to study coz shes not gonna study for her math test tomolo...lol...she told me her past experience of not studying and getting a 15/20...oh well...i shall study JUX IN CASE!! hahas...

Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding!



how coincidental that one day after wat happened is the first day of prelims...zZzZ...and i muz say i wasn't really in the right state of mind...

Prelims Day 1:
my home heater spoil...so had to take damn long to bathe coz muz wait for water to boil...then went to sch thinking tat social studies was the first paper...but it was english first...so i rushed thru the studying of letter writing format...and it didn't really help as i came to realise after eng was over...i didn't write the format properly...then had abt an hour break before the next paper Social Studies...tried to look thru chapters in my tb...helped a little...oh well...went into the exam hall again...sat there...looked at the qn...and then...the unthinkable happened...i blanked out...it was damn scary...sigh...i jux looked at every qn as if i've nvr seen it before...though i understood the qns, the information that i had memorised so much the past few days jux wouldnt come to me...i pratcially struggled thru the whole paper...writing crap here and there...haix...at the end of the paper i really felt lyk tearing the paper apart and jux stomping out of the exam hall...

Prelims Day 2 preview:
tomolo only one paper...GEOG...another combine humans subject...high probability of flunking it again lyk i always do...haix...oh well...GO ME!! shall cheer myself on!! =)

er...anyway...anyone can lend me a toilet to bathe in?? heater is 100% working de...ya..i would really appreciate it...=D

still trying to cope well...blanking out was perhaps due to too many things jux clogging my mind...=S

Broken & Beautiful



God...why do this to me? and NOW of all times...during my important exam periods! is it to demoralise me and see all my efforts put into my studies go down the drain? or probably Your sitting up in heaven laughing at how pathetic i look? well...the only reason i see for You laughing at me is how I'm not trusting in Your unfailing love!
a test of my faith...
a test that not only I go through...
but a test that Peter, and even Jesus when He was on earth went through...
and what better timing to test my faith than during my prelim's and O's
i know that if i pray and i believe...miracles will happen...
but i noe my prayer would be more of wat i want and not of wat You want...
a prayer that would most lykly go "i pray tat You would jux restore this lost relationship and make it even better"
how i wish that would be the case...
i noe its not entirely impossible coz i noe not of wat God has planned in my life
but i ask and pray that Lord, You would give me the strength and courage to say this four little words:
Your will be done
so at the end of the day...would i pass the test? this test of faith?
would i fail lyk Peter? not once, not twice...but three times?
i really hope i dun fail...but even if i do...
i noe God's grace will always be there to lift me up

even as my prelim's start tomolo...i noe i'd be affected damn badly...emotionally and mentally...man...breaking down and blanking out seems so real to me rite now...
God, be my strength
be my anchor in this raging storm...
be my hope that i cling on
be my everything



wah..sian leh...seriously unnoticeable to you...im trying to make myself super duper chao ji obvious le...ur still lyk oblivious...hmm..dun even think you noe im talking abt u rite? its ok luh...haix...after four months it would jux be bye bye and i am no more....weeeeeee~~~ =(

ahh...why SOCIAL STUDIES so many things to read up and memorise?!?! its lyk info overload la!! its amazing how students these days manage to survive thru sch...i think rite...the future generations would have students with really big big heads?? coz their brain keeps increasing in size thx to the info overload...LOL...sian...i still got to study VENICE...and i'm watching soccer...and i realised how lonely it can be whenever exams are near...haix...its lyk jux me and my books...i want to talk to ppl...lyk YOU YOU YOU!! yes...YOU!!! rarr!!! anyway..i cant be having attnetion deficit...coz i only want attention from one person...zZzz...and somehow im not getting any...oh well...i guess rite now its jux me, books and God! =P

ME =)

BOOKS =(

GOD =)

NO YOU =(



how much must you give to get someone's notice? could be anyone...someone u lyk etc...sometimes giving everything you've got still won't do the trick. for me...no matter how much i talk, care, make jokes, be myself(which is the most important XD)...i dun think i was in that person's radar...i'm lyk wind to tat person...able to feel my presense but doesn't really give much thought abt it...oh well...but to get God's notice? u dun even have to do anything...He makes the effort to notice everyone...how comforting is tat? =)

zZzZ....sick........=P



the things that you talk abt...i really dunno wat to say...
sometimes i just say things and pretend i'm not affected by it? i am you noe?
but i noe that speaking my mind wouldn't really change anything...
it's not lyk u actually give much thought or care abt wateva i do or say to u...do u?

ahhhhh.............okok...FOCUS on studying!! FOCUS!!!!!! RARR!!!



today was shuang man...slept all the way until cannot sleep anymore! XD then woke up study study study...then went to kim's hse...to study!! ben, mark and eleanor were there too...rarr!! felt so extra...then all of them in the room i went outside to study...lol...i met kim's dad...he's a super cool dad la i feel!! very fun to talk to!! hahas...then had tea halfway studying...ate a lot of durians...=P after tat continued studying...weee~~ then i finished studying sec 3 SS...went to the room to relax a bit...so i was in the room...then the light nvr on...everyone looked suspiscious..."1...2...3!" then everyone go tickle me...cant do anything coz i was pinned down...lol...then apparently i went high...probably due to the studying stress...suddenly while i was lying on the bed i shoot out my hand...hahas...oh well..overall i had a great time today...balancing study with fun! =DD thx peeps!!

throw it away...
forget yesterday...

do you care how i feel?



ahhhh..........lost my calculator ytd!!! my beloved calculator!!! my faithful companion that has been with me all this 4 years in FMSS......*sniff*.......now it's gone~~ lost forever!! but i noe...deep down...tat my calculator is in a better place...away from the pains of this world!!!

ok...everybody...please go check today's orbituary section of the newspaper...u'd see one whole page dedicated to my calculator!! XD

so today adelin lent me her calculator...then during E MATH lesson i took out the calculator...put on table...and i realised tat at the bottom of the cover of the calculator had a sticker which says "adelin ang"...so i didn't want ppl to mistake me for a gal...then i turn the other side...guess wat i saw? the same sticker with "adelin ang" on it...lol...both sides also have!! >.< lucky no one noticed it...hehe...anyway...THX ADELIN! =D

then after sch had O lvl Eng Oral exam......then i forgot to bring entry proof...zZzZ....oh well...lucky examiner kind...hahas...then i waited for abt an hour before it was my turn...wasn't really nervous coz before we entered the hall, my class ppl were lyk praying tgt...so sweet!! XD well...i think i did quite well? except tat i messed up for the picture description part...but...wats done is done!! so i shall jux concentrate on the prelims and Os!! lol...after oral, went to see the BB peeps...it was great to be back to see the company...hahas...then after tat went for dinner tgt...great time of fellowship!! =D

kkz...ALL THE BEST FOR THE PRELIMS PEOPLE!! rmb to always look to God for every need u may have! =)



zZzz....today is the most turn-off day i ever hard...early morning prinicipal talk for one hour plus...then i sit there listen then look at the clock...minute by minute my PE time was cut short...until when she ended, no more PE lesson le...RARR!!! my whole class all super sian diao...our LAST PE for the whole secondary sch life jux gone lyk tat...sniff sniff...oh well...sigh...i think i'm really getting stressed over the coming exams...if u dunno wat i mean...picture this...starting from next week...exams for 2 months(prelims + O lvl)...only got one shot...once u make a mistake, tats it...stressful la!! and i think i'm showing signs of my stressfulness? today went for tuition then my test results dropped...haix...GO ME!! anyway...wat happened in sch? hmm....after sch, got whacked by my evil mei...she trying to show tat she strong gal...hahas...k la..eleanor strong k?? XD
then went opposite for lunch...then saw adelin and kimm...stand outside 7-11 eat instant noodle...lol..so i pei them for awhile before returning to sch...and soon after returning to sch, i went back out...saw someone i didn't want to see...female stalker...sian leh...when i had a male stalker...i tot tat having a gal stalker would be better...now rite...i think any stalker also bad...apparently tat gal stalker waits for me outside my classroom!! O.o she super free leh...lol...ok...then went back home...had tuition...then during tuition got a really encouraging msg from eleanor!! thx mei!! =)) she said i was pro!! XD
k la...fri eng oral...hopefully ill be able to score well...i'm not really good with words...=P



today played for chapel...then lucky got lilin who last min came to rescue us from the no-pianist-before-she-came problem. Mrs Choe gave me a leading role in worship...told me that i leading for some songs...coz usually the piano will accompany...so it was quite pressurizing...but i think i did well!! =DD

then after tat nth really happened much...chem teacher gone thru all tat she can go thru..so i'm lyk more or less prepared for Os for chem...then after chem went for A MATH lesson...got back A MATH MOCK PRELIM PAPER...got 73/80...which was 91.3%...im glad tat i improved from my midyear! =DD shall continue to improve...hahas...then after school went to study in the canteen...then was distracted by eleanor calling me...lol...study study study...all the way till the vball ppl went home...coz if they went back home...i'd be lyk the ONLY person in the canteen?? super scary feeling la...lol...so i went back with them...then was happily walking home...and when i reached the turn, i suddenly saw aunty lucy's car...with jiaonn, adelin and kim at the back of the car...got a ride from them though it was only a 5 min walk to my hse...NOOOOOOoooooooooooo...5 min worth of exercise gone!! but its ok...its 5min of time with frens gained!! =DD thx for the ride!!

at home, jammed in my room...played some christian songs and i play the guitar...i LOVE christian songs man...no doubt its the best kind of music ever...=) even rite now im still listening to christian music! ok..anyway...i jux solved some super chim math qn...i think i explain to adelin she also dun understand...probably my fault...my explanation skills lao ya!! lol... then watched some super cool videos of soccer...and another funny video on soccer...stupid goalkeeper throw into his own net...LOL...

My name's Bond...
James Bond

My name's Lost...
Get Lost

lame joke...hahas...



today woke up a bit tired...watched three soccer matches consecutively till 1 plus...then toopid MANU play so well but nvr score...if only they bought me...confirm score de...HAHA...joking!XD hmm...didnt really do much today...except that i got back my CHINESE O LVL results...zZzZ...damn disappointed with myself la!! RARR!!! i got a B4!!! i was lyk expecting an A? then my whole class only got one A...summore its an A2!! i dun care la...im gonna retake it man!! i refuse to be beaten by a chinese paper!! >.< then after sch went oppsotie to eat...then stupid gan lao mian take so long come...then had to let my frens wait for me...sorry guys...i felt bad...then i think fiona was kinda disappointed with her results...went to buy for her tissue paper...then returned back to sch...studied at learn@fairfield..quite productive la today...anyway...i kinda lyk studying at that place...though the noise may be a bit irritaing...lol...at home, i was doing A MATH graphs...idiot 2002 prelim paper graph so difficult..dunno how to do...anyway...i jux wanna say im really glad things turned out good after committing this whole thing into God's hands...indeed sometimes jux letting go and leaving it to God can make things better! =)

anyway..i jux realised Aunty Lucy's son aka kim's bro has the same bday as me!! super cool la!! i think ppl whose bday on tat day rock!! XD




COOLEST PIC OF ME EVER!! er...dun drool ah...hhaas...XD





pics of the west coast outing! really enjoyed tat day!! =D




Me receiving certificate of being baptised (is tat how u phrase it? hahas)


Me in the water...going to be baptised =D

okok...for those who were worried sick abt me after reading my blog and wondering wat the heck happened to me...well...im fine la i guess...hahas..dun worry abt me...im old enough to take care of myself!=D anyway...today's sunday...so i told myself tat i'm jux gonna let this day be God's...no other distractions...prayed abt it..and i really was myself today! started off with youth...played for worship...then i told elijah go play piano with me...hahas...i dunno why but everytime we play tgt it always turns out nice! eh...elijah!! next time main service we play tgt!! hahas...then after worship we split into groups to do topic on fruit of the spirit. then each group had three...my group got JOY GENTLENESS LOVE. then we were suppose to convince the audience which one was the most important. so we were given info on each word...so we had to use it...then i came up with a lot of crap...lyk...u noe the bible mentions the word "joy" 191 times?? so u noe wat i told them? i said JOY is the 1 and only most important out of the 9 fruits which is found in 1 of the passages in the Bible. lol...crap la i noe..but...oh well...it helped my team win!! XD then at main service...the msg really spoke to me...talked abt suffering in life as a christian...one point struck me: If our Christian life is always going smoothly without problems, then pehaps there is something wrong with our Christian life. well...jux rmb this:

When we suffer and yet still stand strong and courageous, we are also testifying that our hope is in Christ and hope is true! =)

anyway...here's a song that really helps those who are suffering...suffering from relationship problems...perhaps other issues...but God is in control! dun forget tat! =)

Healer
You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease
I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

hope the lyrics comforts you...coz it really comforted me...cheer up alrite? and stay happy! =)



first time i've ever been lyk this in my whole life...from lost of taste...to lost of appetite...i'm not eating lyk i used to...haix...

today's baptism went smoothly...smiling to the camera still felt weird...seems lyk my smile isn't back yet...i guess even if i managed to fake a smile...my eyes would jux give it away...after baptism, didn't expect so many gifts from the church members...felt lyk one of the members..well...now i am a member! =) then after baptism went to queensway and then marine parade for dinner...queued up at the restaurant for an hour...i jux sat there staring at blank space again...i jux didnt noe u affect me so much...then when we finally got a table, my dad asked me "tired ah?"...i jux nodded my head, noeing full well tat i wasn't...i was quiet the whole of today...seems lyk my parents noticed...=S anyway...pics tomolo...left the camera in the car...*darn*...

Don't cry cause of me...
Continue to smile, please

Broken & Beautiful



been doing some soul searching this few days, in various places...macs, field, parent's room, my room, toilet blah blah blah...and i can't help but notice a part of me really wants to be angry and pissed with u? i mean...u asked the qn...u wanted to noe the ans...all i did was do the right thing...answering ur qn...and it took a lot of courage to say it...and look wat happened next? its one of those situations when doing the right thing always leads down the wrong path...that part of me really feels tat its totally undeserved...it wants to go to the highest mountain in the world and jux scream and shout and be a rarring monster for one day...

but then...i noe i can't be angry with u? i would nvr be angry with u...i jux can't bring myself to. so the other parts of me are trying to tell the angry part of me that its my fault...i dun wanna be angry with you since ur still having ur other problems...i understand how ur feeling...i really do...haix...i wonder if anyone would feel the same way i'm feeling in my shoes...

is my anger justified?

well...im not pissed with u...i jux need to vomit how im feeling out before i die suffering...yeah...

and at the end of the day...would you know how i feel?





kkz...better prepare myself for baptism later...hmm...dun think anyone going for my baptism ba...sigh...feeling kinda sad la...oh well...but i noe u all are happy for me..so...i can somehow feel all of ur "aura of happiness" with me now...hahas...bye!=D



went west coast macs early in the morning at 8 plus...studied there till abt 11.30...sigh..couldnt really concentrate well...i jux couldnt get it off my mind...spent 3 hours and i didn't finish one exam paper...zZzZ....then kim, ben and eleanor came to pei me...instead of being an encouragement and support....the sight of them jux made me emo more...not ur fault...my fault! then i thinking of solution can think until i jux stare at one blank space...then after tat went for the capt ball thingy...met some new peeps...ok la..actually not new...since i've seen them in blogs...their quite a funny bunch....lol...then after capt ball me, ben, kim, mark, eleanor went to the spider web area...sigh...couldn't help but feel extra among them...then while they were having fun at the spider web i was jux sitting there stoning...after tat we jux went back...played water bomb...wah...it totally took my mind of wat i was emo abt...had loads of fun jux splashing here and there...then when i tot everything was over...i went to jia onn who was flying kite...then i lie down on the floor...then suddenly jia onn say they coming...then i quickly sit up...BUT...i was too late...eleanor take-down me then pin me on the ground...then more came pin me down...splash water everywhere...rarr!! hahas...after tat some of them went to play some games...then got drunk after tat...they really went koo koo la...i'm so glad that i dun lyk dirnkning alcohol...so me, mark and kim had to take care of them...make sure they dun do anything wild...gosh...i was worried sick for them...then after tat went kim's hse have dinner...eleanor and ben finally seemed a lot more sober...well..overall i really had fun today...really sorry if i dampened ur moods by being emo...i jux couldn't help it la i guess...yea...thx aunty lucy for the chocolate sundae to cheer me up!! =D

haix...its confirmed...nothing taste sweet to me anymore...today drink coke...it tasted lyk shit...i tot "it muz be the coke la"...then i went to drink the sprite...taste lyk water...ok..nvm...and now...i jux went to drink some ginger beer from my dad's bottle...and all i taste is slightly bland gassy taste...sigh...wats wrong with me...issit coz of wat happened?? =(

anyway...dun feel sorry...it wasn't ur fault...i have only myself to blame...blame it on my feelings...blame it on myself...



Something in my heart
Burning like a fire
I want to live for You

Need Your touch right now
Fill me with Your power
Power to live for You, my God

I will not be moved
I will live for You

I will go where You send me
Jesus take me now I am Yours
I am Yours
Lay my life on the altar
Everything I give to You alone
Here I am
Here I am


Thank You Lord for being there, jux there, with open arms whenever I'm down.
I lift my life into Your hands...take the driver's seat and lead me on.
Jesus take me now I am Yours!



nvr have i tot it would end up lyk this...still regretting wat i did...only 4 months left and i could have spent them jux being happy talking and all...but now...im jux praying hard tat things will be lyk normal tho i noe it wouldn't be...haix...God...i would lyk to relive ytd again...

today went for church games day...and already i felt weird standing amongst the ppl who were litted with smiles and laughter...even while taking the pic...giving a smile felt unnatural to me now...soccer my team lost...and after tat went for lunch at downtown east...bought kickapoo a.k.a joy juice...tot it would have lived up to its name...but drinking it didn't help at all...thruout the day i was quiet...very! lunch was as good as eating by myself...no one was talking...sorry guys if i made the atmospshere felt awkward...then was driven home...silent the whole way back...jux staring out the window...then reached home...found out i didn't bring hse key and no one was at home...so i sat down outside my hse for abt an hour plus...being alone was a very sad feeling...i didn't noe wat to think...i jux looked out at the sky...it was a nice blue colour...then...i jux turned to God...spent the whole hour jux talking to Him...jux vomitting out my feelings to Him...and i really felt better after tat...i still rmb the first time we knew each other...and as the days went by after our first meeting we chatted lyk anything...chat non stop lyk we were good good frens and everything we said was interesting to each other...it was...really! enjoyed every minute of it!! well...i really thank God for blessing me with you...for introducing u into my life...and always bringing a smile onto my face without fail...when i'm sad, you made me smile. when i'm happy, you made me smile MORE! i truly thank God for u! =)

jux ran to my window to see the airplanes from NDP fly pass my hse...how i wish i was in one of them...then ill jux fly away...weeeeee......fly fly fly away from here



jux realised tomolo is the soccer match!!! zZzZ.......no mood to play sia......haix...er..if got too many ppl, can put me as substitute? =P



didn't realised my day was so bad...started off with orienteering...as a leader, i didn't feel lyk i was contributing much to team...probably yibei was the most enthu of us all, running here and there...after orienteering, was bored for 2 hrs...only being entertained by all the good food but yet they were jux staring at me as i ate them...then went for tuition...and gosh i didnt noe wat hapened to me...i jux suddenly blanked out during the test and i scored suckily...haix..wont u agree tat my day sucked? well...i guess my day ended off badly too...better tat way coz at least i can officially call 8/8/2007 a really bad day! hahas..in the end i regretted saying it still...but you wanted to noe...if only i was lyk more strict with myself...then i wouldn't have said it...haix...oh well..dun feel sorry alrite? its not ur fault and i dun blame u...=) hahas...jux stay happy ya? and..JIAYOU!! =D

k la...seriously no mood to blog le...who would have the mood after having a bad day? =S anyway...AUNTY LUCY!! i promise i'll study hard and not let it disturb my concentration!! =)

When I go down
I lift my eyes to You
I won't look very far
Cause You'll be there
With open arms
To lift me up again



sian...today is lyk the most suay day i can ever have? keep bumping into tat sec 1 amanda...i already try my best avoid her le...dun believe ask JM!! when going to chinese lesson see her once...ok...tat one nvm...then during chinese lesson went toilet...see her at the parade square...then when i found out toilet was full...went to the classroom block toilet...then JM told me to go up second floor route...so went up with him...THEN...saw amanda AGAIN!! wah..then me and JM quickly run across skybridge to avoid her...rarr!! so many times la can?? ppl i dun wanna see, i see until scared...ppl i wanna see, well...nowhere to be found...=(

then after sch had A MATH MOCK PRELIM EXAM...sound so scary rite?? well...when i went on doing the paper...i tot tat it was kinda easy la...but as usual i screwed up for the easiest topic...sets! i go draw the venn diagram wrongly..RARR!! there goes my full marks...hahas..joking joking...i really hope i do well for the exam...then i can prove to myself tat my mid year result wasnt a fluke! =D then after tat went to study bio in the canteen...didnt really do much though...sigh...come on!! GO ME!!! muz have determination!!! >.<

sian luh...dunno how to feel rite now...why am i feeling this for the first time?
usually i wouldn't really care much abt it...but now...its lyk...rarr....



I'm so glad to have a church to go to...a place where I can jux spend time worshiping God and really let His word speak to me...and indeed today, once again, He really spoke to me...relating to me the problems tat some of my frens are facing..

jux remember that even if you face trials and temptations, problems in life, family, love...dun forget that we have a God whos there for us! He would never leave us nor forsake us!=)

You are the peace that guards my heart
My help in times of need
You are the hope that leads me on
And brings me to my knees

For there I find You waiting
And there I find relieve
So with all my heart I'll worship
And unto You I'll sing

For You alone deserves all glory
For You alone deserves all praise
Father we worship and adore You
Father we long to see Your face
For You alone deserves all glory
For You alone deserves all praise
Father we love You and we worship You this day

hope this song speaks to all of u...=))
wah...today during youth got one whole box of ferror rocher...
AND.................
ferror rocher means............
FLOWER MAKING!!!
woots~~~ hahas...then after church went out with my papa before he left for the hospital for his operation tomolo...really hope everything will go smoothly...=)
GO DAD!!!
er...anwyay...abt the genetic thingy...hope no one will feel sad for me ah...though i may kana wat my dad kana...doesnt mean its the end of the world...hahas...so i still wanna see smileys on all ur faces!! =DD



today my dad came back home from the hospital...he would be returning back tomolo nite for an operation on monday...inserting a shock box to shock the heart everytime it beats irregulerly...and...some bad news...the doc said it is genetic...meaning...i have quite a high chance of getting it too...=S haix...nvm...shall not be so affected by it...i'll still be the always-smiling-and-happy nat!! =D went for duty today...saw a great improvement in the council...then was in the hall to usher ppl...mrs chng and ms ng went to see my mama, who is a teacher in the pri sch side...lol...then mrs chng see her le then tell me "your mother very pretty leh...you look lyk her..."...hmm...so...meaning...i'm pretty?? hahas...then had a nice dinner with the sec 4s and the ocuncil teachers...thx Mrs Cheng and Ms Ng for the dinner!! it was really nice!! =D

anyway...kim & eleanor!! dun tease her liao la...jux let her be...want to tease jux tease me can le...

sigh...talking to you has nvr been the same since tat incident...somehow i still sense tat ur hurting inside though u say tat ur fine...its kinda obvious...pray to God abt it alrite? He will bring you comfort and peace...and definitely the happiness tat will follow after tat! i'll pray for u too...cheer uP!!=)



wah....today was damn fun man!! shall jot today's date in my imaginary notebook of special days!! XD went out after founder's day service to VIVO with kim, aunty lucy, eleanor, adelin, mark and ben...the trip there was both squeezy and very..erm...shy?? squeezy coz imagine 7 ppl all in one car...exceed maximum passenger capacity lor!! lol...then shy coz...er...hmm...nvm...jux shy...hahas...then went to eat sushi tei...so much food until the table not enough space...so we share food here and there...then the gals were disgusted by the fish roe...lol...fish roe nicenice!! =DD finally ended lunch with the number game...then we managed to eat finish all the food...so after lunch we went to catch a movie...and there we were standing in front of the ticketing booth thinking of wat show to watch...then dunno who go suggest watching "alone"...when i heard it i was lyk "hmm..alone ah...isnt tat a horror movie? but...adelin doesnt lyk watching horror movie!!"...then i go tell them dun watch...but they insisted...damn poor thing luh adelin...felt damn bad for u...lucky i brought my jacket then u can cover ur eyes...hahas...

opinion on ALONE:
i think the movie was a really good horror flick...from the producers of SHUTTLE...wat more can u expect?? shockingly scary till the very end and a good ending too!! so...those who caught SHUTTLE...go catch ALONE! =D

after the movie...we went back home...was a bit squeeshy at the back though ben left...ok la...not tat sqeeshy...jux tat SOME PPL take up a lot of space...then force me to squeeze to someone...rarr!!! oh well...overall i had fun today!! really!! thx so much aunty lucy!! i still feel super bad for not paying anythng...the least i could pay was for the tickets.=) anyway...cheer up adelin!! i want my happy and less emo adelin back! =)) smile k??




QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
Please la...im not like the psychotic math department who gives u a lot of homework!
- Mr Firhad, my bio teacher



my sis jux said she wanted to try the nonya dumplings...i passed it to her...when i got it back...it was only 1/4 left...=( try also muz try 3/4...oh well...



ok...theres seriously too much hw for me to do tat i cant even study my other subjects. sian la...4 A MATH PRELIM PAPERS, 4 E MATH PRELIM PAPERS, 4 CHEM PRELIM PAPERS...tats lyk 12 papers in 3 weeks?? wat the...my brain is gonna die la...haix...nvm...REN!!!! it will all be worth it!! =DD

today was lyk introduced to the study challenge thingy...100 hour challenge for us to try to study for 100 hours...yeah...then got other challenges la...lyk the seemingly-impossible-and-IT-IS-100%-impossible 5000 hour challenge...if u dun believe me ah...i actually went to calculate...lets say u study everyday for 24hours(which is IMPOSSIBLE coz u need to eat slp go sch go toilet) for 100 days(probably by tat time O lvl over le)...you would only clock 2400 hours!!! eeeeee....the sch so cheat ppl's feelings la!! lol...then u noe wat the reward is?? one of the reward is have tea with the sch leadership staff or sth lyk tat...study 5000 hrs jux to drink tea...hahas...

sigh...Ms Lee is lyk not the same anymore...no more of tat happy and smiling teacher tat makes A MATH so fun attitude le...she lyk suddenly quite angry with us...haix...i dun care la...prelim muz go get my A1 for A Math...make her proud!! =D
then after sch went to do hw...then i was shown this 22 sec video of a chair...-.-!!
YES!! a chair...a STATIONARY chair...then suddenly one ghost appear out of nowhere...after i saw it i was lyk stoning there...no reaction...hahas...kind of expected it to happen la...u noe wat would really shock me?? a 22 sec video jux of tat chair...nothing else...so its lyk the viewer would think tat somethings gonna happen but actually nth happens...so rite...basically...anyone who watches it would have wasted 22 sec of their life!! XD

ohoh...i think right..this week is some super duper special week!! hahas...Eleanor accepting Christ and being a christian...well..another good news then...im confirmed gonna be baptised on 11 august!! =DD YAY!!! lol...got invitation cards but dunno who to give...aiya...i go advertise on my blog first...

i invite everyone who reads my blog to my baptism!!
if you can make it then do come! =D
more details please dial 1800-more-details
no la..jux joking...dun go dial tat number ah...hahas...jux come ask me can le!! =DD

hello my name is nathanael!
and i'm hungry right now!
nice to meet you!
:D

And now I must confess That I am a sinking ship I'm anchored by the weight of my heart cause its filled with these feelings

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