why doesnt things seem right for me nowadays...
i jux realised that im still kinda sick...and i guess wat happened in the last few days somehow prevented my immune system from keeping me healthy...
im still continuously praying and asking God to make what seems out of place in place.

Lord i feel so far away
a million miles or more i feel today
and though i haven't lost my faith
i must confess right now that it's hard for me to pray

and i don't know what to say
and i don't know where to start
but as You give the grace
with all that's in my heart

i will sing
i will praise
even in my darkess hour
through the sorrow and the pain
i will sing
i will praise
lift my hands to honour You
because Your word is true
i will sing



yes...if u're wondering who Mr Smiley is...well...its ME!!=D was given the name last nite during BB FAREWELL PARTY for the sec 4s. i tot that part of the programme was really very unique and funny and fun at the same time. i think overall for the BB farewell...it was a good job done by the sec 3s who organised it. i tot it was really meaningful. one person i muz commend is Joel Lai. i think thru the whole prog, he really managed the company well...it was quite a joy when i saw him disciplning the coy as i knew that him being the CSM was the right choice.well..i tot last nite was a very encouraging nite for me.got promoted to WO and had a nice chat with Mr Ho...stayed over in sch..played soccer from 10 plus all the way to 3 plus in the morning...then me, tian, mr chiok, mence and a few others went up to play FATAL FRAME II. its a super scary game la!!! i think all of us were looking thru holes made by our hands? lol...its lyk the ghost will suddenly appear? and it would lyk totally freak us out!!! well...i think i really enjoyed the friendship that i have in BB.

Thirty x4 thirty-third
We are Thirty-Third Brotherhood!

Thx for all the memories in BB.the four years spent together...i will really cherish it! =D



u are truly a lovely and sweet gal...but...i guess its best if i moved on

today was kind of a weird day...caleb spread the LOVEY-DOVEY corny phrases to my partner, YB, and it totally freaked me out.she said a lot of things to me lyk :

1) YB: u noe....God took 16 years to ans my prayer
me: erm...ok....................so wats ur prayer?
YB: i prayed and asked for an angel....and that angel is YOU!!
me: *mouth wide opened*(lameified)

2) YB: (holds my hand) lets say this side of your palm has cows...
and the other side has horses...and btw them is a fence...
how does the cow cross over to the horse?
me: hmm.....jump over the fence?
YB: no...not really...but it doesnt matter...i jux wanted to hold ur hand
me: *mouth wide opened*(lameified)

3) YB: is your father a thief?
me: no..? i definitely hope not
YB: u liar! then how do u explain the stars in ur eyes?
me: *blurred*(wat has my father being a theif got to do with stars in my eyes?)

4) YB: ever since i met u...my eyesight has been deteriorating...
me: why?
YB: coz my eyes aren't prepared to take the beauty of you
me: *mouth wide opened*(crippledfied)

oh man...u noe how torturous is tat?i felt lyk a guinea pig la...im being tested on lovey dovey corny catch phrases!! noooooo.........anyway...took e math test today...and i jux realised i screwed up for my whole of qn 1!!! i totally forgot abt my COSINE RULE!!! rarr!!! die le...sianzzz....after that had tuition at BLUE HORIZON...its lyk the inner part of west coast la...need shuttle bus to go in...and my tutor's study room is freaking cold...i mean..i was lyk sitting directly under the aircon? and when i say directly i mean DIRECTLY!!after that...i chiong backed to sch to meet for Chris bday party. had a fun time in eric's car singing with my lungs out...during the bday party...i met my LONG LOST SISTER!!! nat!!! lyk wat she wrote in her blog....

one guy one gal...different name but same nickname

super funny...then so many ppl keep calling "nat!" then im lyk looking up...then i realised its the other nat...rarr!!! oh well...HAPPY BDAY CHRIS!!! =D



here i am...reminding myself of last nite's quiet time.....

how does a believer in Jesus Christ cope with life's brevity and burdens without giving in to "eeyore theology"? Eeyore...always seeing the negative side of everything.

Lord, keep us from being lyk Eeyore, and help us to leave a legacy of gladness, hope, and peace.

When trials assail and my moods descend
when pain and sorrow seem never to end
I yield to You, Lord, so that i may see
The peace and the joy You've promised me.



NFNCPS - No Friends No Care Phobia Syndrome
Symptoms - depression...affects the mood as well...pisses other ppl off
Cure - still looking for one

sigh...im sitting in front of my computer screen doing nothing...its kinda shitty being sick...miss out so much stuff in sch...summore tues!! chapel!! well...through this years i realised no matter how much i dread going to sch...once there's a holiday or a long term break...u start missing sch a lot and ur frens. i think im still kinda affected by wat happened last nite...i've concluded tat it was all my fault. you're considered one of my good frens...and i guess all i needed was a word "hi" from my good fren. its quite frustrating if u keep daoing me...and u dun give a reason why u dao me...i mean...the least u could do was to tell me the reasons...i wont do anything wild lyk destroying you...if u find me irritating...is tat why u lied to me abt having ur other frens at ur home when it was only you who was behind the screen...then fine...ill jux let u dao me then...haix

yesterday's quiet time really spoke to me. the msg was abt God's love and care despite the times when we are down and out...i guess God really knows how we are feeling all the time and He doesn't let us suffer! =) even if our good frens dun really care abt us...He is our best fren and He cares for us everytime...
I <3 You, Jesus! =D



a boy stares through the window...he looks on blindly....hoping that someone would come and realise the pain he's going thru...its not any physical pain...its a different kind...a pain tat only lonely ppl can feel. he desperately calls for help but the relentless onslaught of the rain drowns his useless cries for help.is it his fault for causing this imaginary wall btw him and his fren? or issit the fren who doesnt want to talk to him?

today was another bad. couldnt kick start the day better off than having rain in the morning. had to hold the umbrella for those ppl pulling flag and while doing so i got kinda drenched. wat came after that was that my nose started running...i guess he was in a 2.4km run mood. couldnt...wait...more lyk didnt feel lyk doing PE. i jux sat there in the hall looking at ppl doing their NAPFA tests. thx for all ur concerns everyone. well...not really everyone...i tot that person would come over or sth to ask how i was doing but..sadly..daoed me the whole day...that truly made my day worse. signed out of sch and jux rested at home...

woke up and went for lunch...met a few of my frens at the coffeeshop...and there that person was again...daoing me with much ease...why cant anyone jux understand how bad my day was. and i have to endure this crap. i hope u read this(thats if u even come to my blog la)...not really angry with u...jux tat i hope u understand me better...we're still frens! =D

jammed in the BB room listening to the song "let God arise"!
super nice song....jumped around and even blasted the music! =D
everything's drawing to an end soon...my chapters as a secondary sch kid is coming to an end...hopefully it ends with a blast! anyway..wish me luck for tomolo's test...i think i need lots of it!! =D



after the past two days of spasms...today felt lyk a good day! =)
put on my full u with ENTHUSIASM!! (my choice of words maybe wrong...coz my eng jux sux!! its a vacuum cleaner) looked myself in the mirror and said to myself "u look good today!". lol...today i had BB enrolment service...didnt really noe why the sec 4s had to be enrolled since next week its our farewell. so.....basically....the sec4s are enrolled for abt a week!! ain't tat cool? hahas...during the service, the two capt from 33rd J and 33rd coy came to give their capt report.after listening to the both of them...i could tell the diff.one was more formal and mature than the other(not saying the other is immature ah).

quoted from one of the capt: "im aspiring to be an inspiring speaker..."

well..during the service...i really tot thru abt the time when i first joined BB in sec 1 all the way till sec 4...im really amazed at how much i've grown...lyk wat my capt said...during LDC we were not outstanding at all...but now...at sec 4...i guess its truly God's grace and blessings.

heres a list of wat i wanna thank God for:
1) really good friends in BB and in sch
2) BB officers that i can turn to in times of trouble
3) making me grow spiritually and...yea...grow =P
4) Sec 1A '07 who added some spice into my life
5) my parents who are ever so caring
there's still alot more but..i guess this 5 jux abt sums it up =D

after service we had promotion...and i got promoted to staff sergeant together with the COSes and other few.CONGRATS to u guys!last full u parade next week...muz cherish ah..lol...after that went back to sch to get my stuff and change before going for lunch...didnt realise vball ppl in the hall till i saw jp they all...wanted to say hi but..i see jp so busy refilling water...then i was lyk..aiya...nvm...she most probably wont wave back de...lol...

took a ride on lijia's car...wanted to drive it since its a sports car and i play daytona quite well...LOL...but..oh well...i guess im still underaged...went to JP(not jianping...its JURONG POINT) for lunch at fish & co...had some spoilers for prison break...and i cant believe its at season 3 alr...so fast la...and supernatural is still at season 2?rarr!!! faster la supernatural!! got ppl in singapore waiting for DVD to come out rite...u think time free one ah...then i also waiting for HEROES to come in singapore...again...i say dunno how many billion times le...u think time free one ah...anyway...lunch time was filled with funny stuff...lyk ppl hammering this TV...keith dropping a piece of fish three times...mr ho getting wet when i didnt even open my mouth..oh well...after that went back to sch to play soccer and met the GB ppl after their competition...met the "little head chopper"...super cute la she...anyway...i write a lot of crap today...sorry if my post isnt entertaining today...XP



i need some kinda help...either spiritual help or human help!! jux....HELP!!!
the whole of today i was having some sort of thumb spasm! it happens every 10 min interval? its quite freaky la...its there lyk some kinda term for this problem? hmm...THUMBOSPASM? someone help me stop the spasm from carrying on!! ahh...!!!

lets leave the spasm thing aside. today was another long day...somehow the chem classroom clock had some super lag time or sth. the second hand was lyk taking 2 secs to tick 1 second...gosh...someone needs to change the batt!!

today was filled with reflections for me. many things went thru my mind after the reflection session with Mr Liu Lijia. whether i did my best as the BB head. did i regret anything. well..personally i tot i did a really sucky job as a CSM. maybe some of u mite disagree but...this is my PERSONAL OPINION!! personal means my own. lol...yea...i guess i only came out of my "shell" at the last few parades.

anyway...sorry if i ever pissed anyone of u peeps one way or another. sometimes i get irritated by myself too. sometimes my frens dun understand me well enough and they may think i have an attitude problem. its really hard juggling council, BB and school life all at once...im trying my best in all three areas and sometimes i may be stresses over some issues...so...do understand yea?

the end of my sec 4 life is coming to end quite soon....all the memories....sec 1 orientation...1A '07 HOSEA...everyone...u've made my last year a special one! =D



this few days pass by so quickly...and i can't help but notice weird and funny things happening around me!! or maybe im jux hallucinating...hmm...oh well..let me list down the weird things that are etched in my mind.

1) a guy stalker *looks left* *looks right*
2) test tubes dropping during bio prac
casualties: 2 test tubes pronounced dead
3) some girl putting her towel on her head (probably trying to find shelter from the sun?wait...she was in the hall) *was laughing and she noticed and she laughed along*
4) my acoustic guitar plug in SOMEHOW "pop"ed out...but luckily its still working
5) learnt 2 new words: "purpotedly" and "nurmenclature" (muahahaha...bet u dunno wat those two words mean =D)
6) know at least one person from every sec 1 class (shows im a chao friendly guy =P)
7) a leaking toilet bowl!! (waste water!!)

weird man...someone please save me. had this person from vball..dunno her as a fren...but i somehow know her from my frens...lol..she wrote me some random comments...wrong info...later her boyfren come find me la!! then i die... DX

today was a really long and tiring day..somehow i felt lyk time was running slowly...i dun even think it was running la...more lyk crawling...i think TIME would fail his 2.4km run. yea...had to endure numerous stomach growls. when sch ended...it was a relief for me. glad it ended...went for BB farewell worship practice and helped out a little...noticed the vball ppl there...and we said...........HI!!.....lol...and i went on strumming the guit.after the practice...met this sec 1 girl who was trying to guess my name...and obviously she couldnt remember...i mean...who could man...if they didnt noe me...hahas..she gave all sorts of names lyk "william" and "will-(sth)".oh well...happy guessing! =D

heres the lyrics to my favourite song YOUR NAME

As morning dawns and evening fades
You inspire songs of praise
That rise from earth to touch Your heart
and glorify Your Name

Your Name is a strong and mighty tower
Your Name is a shelter like no other
Your Name, let the nations sing it louder
Cause nothing has the power to save
But Your Name

Jesus, in Your Name we pray
Come and fill our hearts today
Lord, give us strength to live for You
and glorify Your Name

(if anyone wants this song jux msn me =D)



got a chance to be a tour guide today!! it was for some badgework. me and the grp of BB frens were suppose to go national orchid garden and lead a group of ppl around the garden. walked to the place where me and WJ suppose to meet to take taxi...then i met WJ along the way and he didnt notice me!!! we were lyk walking towards each other la and he didnt notice me!!! rarr!!! is he blind or is he blind? (don't think u have much of a choice huh) well...took the cab which had keith and dan in it...and the taxi driver took his own sweet time to get to bot garden...u know how SLOW the driver drove??? he constantly drove at 40km/h -.-". its quite irritating when u know you're gonna be late...i mean...who wouldn't be late if they had a cab driver lyk ours. along the highway...40km/h...got car behind him...40km/h...NO CAR in front...40km/h...change gear...40km/h!! i think he change gear is to act cool one lor. and there was one point we tot we were floating coz the cab moved super duper slow? i think i type finish this post also faster than him driving from my hse to sch la. and keith later proved the point tat he drives slow...he WALKED faster than the cab!!! wah!!! oh well...the total cab fare was $9 plus.

at the national orchid garden, we found out our tour group were students from YUYING SEC SCH. keep seeing the name yuying but i dunno where it is.hmm...oh well...my group was quite fun and interesting.one guy calls himself a handicap, one gal says that national orchid garden is her hometown. and they walked super slow...so i called them "lao ren"...then they call me ah peh.lol...had a lot of names throughout the whole tour..."ah girl", "teacher", "ahpeh". then they all started calling me teacher??? which made me sound old...but they were a fun bunch...too bad it was only a 20 min tour...would love to get to know them better...hahas...oh well...dun think there would be a chance la...

on the way back to sch....saw the c div vball gals at the busstop opposite sch...didn't see my two 1A ppl...jp i can understand...but wheres the other one?? hurhurhur?? muz be u pon vball training rite?? LOL...joking...shifted $3k worth of uniform stuff into the BB room...we raised the cost of the room!! =D

nothing to say le...wont be blogging for the next 3 days since ill be in sch having camp. come sch visit me ba...LOL...XD



today went for SANA course all the way at SENGKANG. yes...its SENGKANG...which takes me abt an hour to get there? super duper far la...unfair to those who are living in the west...can they jux centralise the meeting point to make it fair for everyone?? so r they lyk prejudice against those who live in the west?!?! hurhur?? oh well...went to sengkang with my frens and along the way i was reading this library book tat i borrowed call "the science of superheroes". its a super cool book la...where they use scientific ways to prove whether the superheroes are possible in real life. so one of them was abt FLASH who could actually run at the speed of light. then the book said it was impossible for it to be true coz he wouldnt be able to see or hear anything if he's running tat fast. oh well...at the SANA building, we were together with NCC and BB ppl from different schs. but there was one particular group. NCC from RGS. super dao-ster la...they mastered the art of DAOism...had to endure lectures till 5.30...zZzZ....i guess it wasn't tat boring since my frens were there. and i jux realised how BB has influenced me and my frens to do nonsensical stuff.

for example

going around and saying "NYAW". wats tat mean? theres not even a proper spelling for tat word. we jux say it and laugh.

i guess this are the things tat bond us together.......
even if this things look stupid...i would definitely cherish them



if u couldnt feel the sarcasm in my title...well...here's to make it more obvious...singapore is a bit the cold ah? ok...if u still didnt get tat...i surrender!! kowtow u!! lol... had a recee for recruit's hike. 23 km from sch to bukit batok(or was it bukit timah..hmm...aiya...both same la..both start with bukit) and then back. we started off the recee late..abt half an hour late coz of some problems lyk waiting for ppl etc. left sch and took the bus to commonwealth MRT where we started the recee. during the bus ride i was "pee-ing" on the bus la...stupid waterbag keep leaking...i twist the screw dunno how many zillion times le still refuse to stop leaking!! so i had to turn it upside down...oh well...can drink can le. hahas...then walked from commonwealth all the way to gleneagles. thruout the whole hike...i could feel my cells getting barbecued...and for those who dunno me...u wouldn't noe im chinese if ur seeing me for the first time.HAHA. well...being barbecued reminds of a song

I AM COW
HEAR ME "MOO"
I WEIGH TWICE AS MUCH AS YOU
AND I LOOK GOOD ON A BARBECUE
YOGHURT, CURD CREAM, CHEESE & BUTTER
COME FROM LIQUID FROM MY UDDER
I AM COW
I AM COW
HEAR ME "MOO"

and the part abt looking good on a barbecue? well...my cells dun exactly lyk being barbecued much less looking good on a barbecue. it was jux pure hotness..then we realised we lost the map...the precious map tats suppose to lead as around the hike route. ah...!! and WJ forgot to take it..he left it below the CCA block. so we had to call the other officers to pick it up for us. at the road near ikea, we saw two lamborghinis....a what? its not a...its two lamborghinis. one orange and one yellow. all of us were lyk "woah..tats totally cool!" and im lyk "woah...tats quite rubbish since u'd get fined for speeding!". then the yellow car think very cool go speed...i think its quite obvious tat even if we didnt really see the speed of the car, we all know very well tat the car is faster than the other brands. oh well...finish the hike at around early 10 plus? went oposite for a drink and we had a nice chat with the officers. they were talking going for the PC fair today. and one of the officer replied "NO!!! sunday confirm a lot of ppl go PC fair one lor...i think half the world will be at PC fair!". i was wondering how the PC fair could accomodate so many ppl. talk abt the government trying to overpopulate singapore by giving an estimate amt of ppl in singapore in the future of 6 mil...half the world is lyk 3 billion ppl la...on one small dot...think abt wat would happen!!!! singapore would be the next atlantis. lost underwater..nvr to be discovered again...probably buried under billions of bodies. oh well...i guess tat was the start of my holidays...started with a super funny recee day. is this a sign tat this week would be great? hmmm...................



today was super fun la!!! did so many things...got back my math paper and got full marks. woohoo!! then after sch went to cut hair...and it kinda looks disgusting...oh well...but i styled it so its ok now!! =D then had lots of fun with my sec 1 volleyball frens...ate dinner together etc. had a weird session of observing how i hold a pen and a chopstick...at least i can pick up food!! can eat can le...and i dun eat gently lor!!! i CAN eat fiercely also!! lol...jux watch me next time!! wahahaha...anyway... learnt to play "famous last words" by my chemical romance...quite cool actually! hahas..oh well...nth to write abt le...lol...

bye!



everything seems to move so slowly today. PE was lyk the most slack. had to run 4 rounds around the track and i think i was the only siao runner there? first lap...first one to start...then JM followed behind then we sprinted abt 100m...then he slowed down...second lap...sprinted with joel...and then he slowed down...i think i was lyk the only one running lyk it was the last time im ever gonna use my legs. played badminton after that...then saw jianping slacking while 1A gals were playing captain ball. so i went over and teased her...super funny la..ohwell...back to the badminton thingy...me and my fren realised the racket stunk (forgot how to spell stink in past tense).so we stopped..coz the stench was unbearable.hmm...wonder how the word unbearable came abt. must have been a really stinky bear.thats how the word came abt. lol... so anyway...we went to play soccer...and i didnt score...oh well...good game tho...nothing "fascinating" happened in sch...only after sch...i went to patronize my sec 1 class stall...they sold pancakes...it was quite nice la...i shall close two eyes abt the ice cream...coz it looked lyk porridge. then i drank 3 cups of root beer float...luckily i didnt get drunk or sth.

now im at home...and im experiencing super lagness on my com...the amount of time it takes to load a page is enough for me to grab a drink and come back. rarr!!! stupid com...its getting old!! anyway...jux found out my sec 1 class lyks to make fun of me...dunno whether to feel happy or sad...lol...oh well...then tat kimmm refuse to tell me how they make fun of me!! rarr!!! thou shalt not "argh" me back... hahas...

gotta go...=D



wondering why the title of this post is "just so you know....."? no reason..lol..cant think of a title so i jux put the title of the song im listening to now as my title of this post. =D

today was cool! the youths presented the song "one desire" in front of the whole congregation. quite a new experience as it was the first time i was playing the bass in church in front of so many ppl. lol...still got time to improve...still have a few more months before i can officially play for main worship. HEY GUYS (& GALS)!! IM GONNA GET BAPTISED IN AUGUST!! =D well..during the sermon...i learn a new acronym!! FAITH stands for Forsake All I Trust Him! cool rite??!!?!?!?!?! come on man...it is cool lor!! stop living in denial!! hahas...

went to plaza sing after that...parents were looking at the massaging device in the OSIM shop...the product is called "upapa"...hmm..or was it "ipapa"? hmm...oh well...was listening attentively to his lecture till he talked abt this special function tat the product has...he said that it has an auto power adjustor or somewhere along that line.he said if u feel that its hitting too soft, u can lean back more...then if u feel its hitting too hard...u can lean forward abit...then i was lyk "erm...r u sure its a function? or izzit physics...pressure = force over area" oh well...in the end we bot the massaging thingy...then bot 200g of salmon skin and ate literally 50% fish skin and 50% oil. lol...

jamie jux asked a really good qn...u noe the phrase 'kill two birds with one stone"? she asked whether u could actually kill a bird with a stone. then i was lyk...CAN!! if the stone was a big one...lol...

oh well...tats enough for today..tired..zZzZ...



today had council duty...it was kinda messy coz the front gate ppl send a lot of cars in one shot to one carpark..so there was a bit of jams here and there...but it was ultimately okay and well done!! =D great job guys!! shall ignore all the rumours that abel has made.lol...had this anonymous person who bot me snacks...still dunno who..its kinda scary sometimes...oh well...thx anonymous person! after that saw my sec 1 class volleyball ppl...super happy!! =) i want another orientation with them!! how abt a 1A chalet! lol...

went to church after duty for worship prac...played the bass and i found out i'm quite not bad with it. shall be humble...lol...

in the evening i went over to allicia's hse for steamboat dinner...super funny...had 2 crazy ppl laughing...and had the weirdest lou-ing of yu sheng where nearly half the yu sheng was on the table...then lou until my hand also got...but it was great fun!!

MANU vs LIVERPOOL
1 - 0



havent been blogging much lately in spite of kimmm nagging at me to go post. lol...but here i am again!! =D well...many things happened during this period of time tat i didnt blog...had BB anniversary...which was QUITE good...but had a number of problems...and i think i was kinda stressed out? jux exploded suddenly during the stayover. anyway...thx joy for praying for me ya? glad to have a fren lyk u! =)

started a habit of reading daily bread...i think im hooked onto it!! which is great? helps a lot...so you christians out there go get a copy...lol...

well...my e math teacher tease me in front of the whole class again...always one lor!! ask y i keep smiling...then he ask whether im ever serious..lol...but he's a good teacher la...

today's BB was kinda weird...many interesting things happened...lyk me losing my BB pants!! rarr!!! whoever stole it shall DIE!!! muahahaha...nah...im nice! =D had a nice and funny chat with my officer...he told me that my COS said i was hysterical!! and im lyk "wat??? is hysterical good?"...lol...oh well...tomolo got council duty..doing carpark as usual...with a whole bunch of inexperience ppl...ill pray hard no one gets banged down by cars...dun worry!!! ill get my hp ready!! =D no...no need...im well trained in first aid!! no worries man...
then after tat have to go church practice for youth song presentation "one desire". a very nice song...anyone wants this song please contact me thru MSN!

joke of the day
why is a mosquito better than a fly?
coz a mosquito can fly but a fly cant mosquito!! =D

hello my name is nathanael!
and i'm hungry right now!
nice to meet you!
:D

And now I must confess That I am a sinking ship I'm anchored by the weight of my heart cause its filled with these feelings

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