so as not to disappoint SOME PPL...no la...actually only adelin...hahas...i have come to post!! hmm...wwhere shld i begin...erm..i think ill start from last fri. it was a day of mixed feelings for me. had eng compo exam and my fingers were freaking pain...write too much le...well...my morale was at an all time low during the compo exam...i guess it was the effect of past events....after compo was over...went to take my hp and then i saw he-who-shall-not-be-named...and then he chased me around again...thx to those who TRIED to help me get he-who-shall-not-be-named off of me...after the GREAT escape (hahas) read the msg in my hp and i was really happy! my mood changed a lot...=D actually the msg came in at 7 plus am but by tat time my hp was alr in my locker. =( maybe if i read it earlier then i woulod have the motivation to write better for my compo...oh well..at least the msg came. i guess now i can wave my sadness goodbye...finally! then i had a great time studying...super fun la....with adelin's highness...i totally agree with kimm that adelin high until can touch the sky..wahahaha...

sat was oral day...both eng and chi...was really glad that we chatted online the nite before after a very long while...well...jux to let u noe...i really tried my best for oral...was trying hard not to be nervous and be brave! XD tho i screwed up a little...i guess if it wasnt for ur encouraging words i would have screwed up even more...so.......
THANKYOU!! =D

after oral i went to west coast macs to study together with mence and eric...it was the lamest gathering i had ever had for a long time...eric invented a new word "frungry" meaning freaking hungry....and then...we all wanted to play soccer!! a certain urge to play ball...but we didnt noe whether it was a good choice...so we used eric's pocket decider lyk a few thousand times...then we chosed to NOT follow the pocket decider and went to play soccer...went came after was jux retarded...we spent 1 hr getting ready to play soccer then i had to go for tuition le...so sad la...anyway...tuition was seriously a killer for my brain...had a 2 hr test inside this freezing cold room...but in the end i got 81 for the test...quite satisfied with myself la considering it was A MATH...

today nth much happened....jux tat i read adelin's blog and i realised she had this whole paragraph in her post jux for me!! aww...all of u muz be thinking so sweet rite? and i shld be feeling honoured rite? not really la...i mean...it was sweet of her to dedicated one portion of her post for me..but i wouldnt say i was honoured...coz...she saw he-who-shall-not-be-named in NUS!!! ahhh......!!! lucky i wasn't there...anyway....gtg study le...

all the best for tomolo!! i noe geog very difficult but...jiayou!! =D



mid years are coming...jux a few more hours before it begins...the thing is that...i dun have that "exam" feeling...i feel as if tomolo's jux another normal sch day.wonder if tat's good or bad. anyway...its really hard concentrating on studies this few days...not being able to keep ur mind off some stuff...it jux tires ur brain...its not that i dun wanna think abt those things...more lyk i can't.
today wasn't such a bad day..i guess maybe coz it was balanced out due to some stuf tat cheered me up...lyk the occasional hyper greetings that adelin gives me and the fact tat me and a group of sec 4s got owned by a sec 2 math qn...simple things in life really makes a lot of difference.

all the best for mid years!! remember that God is always there beside you...in Him you'll find rest, comfort and strength!! =D



as i look back...i jux realised i have a great bunch of frens in sch who nvr fail to make me laugh and smile...i mean...isnt it evident?? im smiling 24/7 man!! hahas...thx for all the times when u peeps always act cute, sing songs together, remix them etc...hahas...but all these things...they dun really last long each day...once we are dismissed and all of us go out separate ways...the emptiness really creeps in. gosh...i can even feel it more this few days...its intoxicating! i think some of u noe why im feeling lyk this. rarr!! oh well...today's chapel was the nicest i must say out of this year. the songs and everything were good but only the silence from the students in the hall was making the atmosphere weird. why can't they jux open their mouth..lyk say "ah" or sth...so simple...anyway...after sch was irritated by he-who-shall-not-be-named again. but this time not too bad la...but still BAD!! at the staircase shout my name...i jux ignored him. studied alone (as usual) in the canteen listening to my MP3 in my own imaginary confine space. i felt good not being disturbed by anyone. =D hahas..well...as each day goes by....i still pray that things will get better for me...for everyone.....



today's devotion passage was one that i was familiar with but nvr really paid attention much to. who by worrying can add a day in their lives. imagine...a world with no boundaries or limitations...a world...where we can worry and add a day in our lives. wah...i think ah...in this 16 years of my life worry rite...i think i can live forever le. lol...anyway...it really shows the love and care that God has for us that we can, no..must cast all our cares upon Him.

back to sch...
i felt different today...like i was a new man! ok..or maybe im jux exagerrating...i jux felt really refresh for the whole day...as if all my sch life there was this huge rock on me and only today that it was taken off. it was a nice feeling man. had PE today and we played kampong games...half of the class was playing "what time is it, mr wolf?" and they were so noisy running around like their lives depended on it. i jux played chaptek with a grp of frens...destroyed 2 chapteks.NOOooooooo...ok..anyway...saw adelin after my PE...waved and smiled..our usual routine. i mean...wat else can we do? lol...then went for SS lesson..not doing wat the teacher told us to do. chi after that and got back two test papers. quite happy with my results...but i hate the way my chi teacher destroys it by putting horrible-looking smiley faces. i muz say that her smileys look extremely weird...has some kinda spastic face. A maths lesson was fun...Mr Lee came to relief our class...i had fun tricking my frens that he was my father...after that helped Ms Ng to look out for Mr Ho...looked into her class of 1D...everyone so quiet la!! amazing rite?!?! actually coz they taking test!! wahahahaha...anyway...after sch was IRRITATIN!!! was stalked by he-who-shall-not-be-named for HALF-AN-HOUR!! in the end my frens came to help...except for some EVIL frens who jux sit at the canteen table and laugh...EVIL frens ah..haiyo...HAHAS...did some hw...then was damn worried for adelin la...anyway...the sch is not haunted!!no ghosts...besides...even if there is they wouldnt affect us coz we have God!! =D

for every little good things in life
CHEERS! =D



today was a really fun day. joined back the youth today taking a break from baptism class. played for worship and my fingers were hurting lyk mad...too long nvr play guit le...then after the whole worship my left hand was breaking out in sweat and it was shaking...seriously...oh well...then after worship we had some prayer session followed by games!! the game was quite cool...it was BIBLE TRIVIAL!! its lyk a christian type of who wants to be a millionaire except that u dun win money...then there was one point where we were stuck at this really difficult qn...then my fren chose an ans that was weird...so we asked him why he chose it and he said it is in a nursery rhyme. i was lyk "-.-II...theres a reason why its called BIBLE trivial...coz the ans can be found in the bible." well..in the end his ans was wrong...lol...then went up for main service and i jux cant help but noticed that all the songs during worship had the word crown in it. so we were lyk singing crown here crown there. maybe can choose songs that dun have the same words repeating itself...think it would be better.not that im complaining..tsk tsk..and the best part of today was that my favourite speaker was here to speak!! let me intro him to u peeps...he is the most hip speaker, quite hilarious at times and most of the time his words are powerful. today's msg was titled "the problem of suffering". he talked abt this imperfect world where suffering is an everyday thing...and ppl qn where is God?! and at the end of his msg he gave a very comforting experience of his. he was walking and saw this person in front of him weaving a picture. the back of the canvas was facing him and there were strands of string jutting out from everywhere and he was thinking "wat the heck is this ugly piece of thing"...as he walked pass the person, he turned and saw the picture the person was working on. it was the most exquisite and beautiful piece of work he had ever seen. he ended of with this phrase "traumas we see in life is just the back of the canvas. what is in front is the beauty of God's work." its amazing how God speaks to me so often nowadays during this tough time im going thru...=D

beyond our mangled lives is a beautiful picture



its true that we can nvr truly understand God's plans. it seems as though He's trying to tell me sth...jux ytd's quiet time i was really confused. love is patient. love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast. wat do you want me to do Lord? haix...You made my life lyk this and now You tell me that love is patient? its jux totally opposite ends. i wanna forget and God tells me love is patient...zZzZ...someone jux shoot me...save me from brain damage...oh well...im still trusting God...lol...anyway...im pissed off with the thing tat my dad installed into the com. now i cant see my own tagboard coz of some stupid 403 error. then go write forbidden. wat the heck...the com jux forbid me to see my own tagboard!!! rarr!!! computers are evil!! hope it gets resolved soon...anyway...playing the guitar tomolo for youth!! weeeeee.......super happy la!! super long nvr play for worship le...i jux love to play for worship!! =D
okie...gonna watch the MANU match le...byebye!!



today was the shittiest day of the week.life really is lyk a rollercoaster.ups and downs...even sometimes lefts and rights.u nvr noe wats gonna happen next.one time things go well for u...the next the world seems lyk its jux collapsing over you.right now im going downhill....still going...going....dunno when this will end...huh..who noes...it may not even end.all those happiness and hope gathered going up the rollercoaster track now seemed lyk a dream...jux a chasing after the wind.and this hope that i had...it jux fades away.

Lord, I come before You knowing that You are the One True God.
even when the earth fades, I know You are still there.
thank You for Your unfailing love
that You've shown me during this tough period,
a strong and mighty tower to lean on.
indeed You are mighty to save
and i jux commit everything into Your hands
my heart and my soul, i give You control
consume me from the inside out. Amen

i wish i could jux forget everything...everything since the start of this year...all traces of it jux vanishing...i wish..i wish



haix...im getting more and more irritated by he-who-shall-not-be-named. he's really too much la...follow me around as if i got this tag on me saying "hey you!! please follow me all the time!". what did i do to deserve this?
well...today's chi lesson was funny...lao shi said playboy instead of gameboy. lol...oh well...spend nearly the whole sch hours remixing different songs with JM. super funny...i guess its what ordinary things we do each day that makes it so extraordinary! =) after sch went opposite for lunch...drank BANDUNG which was so much more worth it than the canteen drink stall. but...after tasting it..i conculded that the canteen's one was still nicer. studied at the canteen again lyk i always do...jux realised i can't study after a certain time. too many distractions..HAHAS...then after tat told adelin what kimm tagged on my blog..super funny after that..

wonder how the days left are gonna be like...its definitely gonna be different after the past events.



today chapel hall duty was the fastest i've ever seen!! the no of ppl who went was also the highest!! well..of coz the work rate was higher and so we stacked the chairs faster...woohoo...great job to start the day right!! then went down to the parade square to talk to Ms Ng with Wilson abt prize presentation...the three of us were lyk waving at Joy who was in front giving announcement to forget abt the prize presentation. hahas...it was a super funny scene la...imagine 3 ppl at the side all waving at one person while the rest of the sch were sitting down. so Ms Ng was laughing and telling us to stop waving coz it looked awkward. funny scene to start the day exciting. after upper sec chapel, i stayed back to arrange the messy chairs properly and putting the plaque/plac/plagcards(still dunno wats the proper spelling..im a loser). then saw adelin..remembered she was talking to me online last nite saying "see u tomolo i hope"...i guess it came true...lol...so i smiled back and waved...THEN......out of no where he-who-shall-not-be-named grabbed my shoulders...super irritaed by it...then go hit my behind...zZzZ...i need bodyguards...as in seriously...hoping for a DIAL-A-BODYGUARD HOTLINE 24hrs! oh well..during chi lesson some relief teacher came into class..then i was lyk "lao shi!! jin tian you letter writing tests ah?"...then i think she didnt hear me...then she started speaking...in ENGLISH "ok class...good morning!". then im lyk...WAT?!?! u get a non-speaking chi relief teacher to relief a chi lesson? ok...then at chem lesson...had chem prac...did titration with potassium manganate and iron(II) sulphate. super cool la!! all our reactions were lyk for example Ash Ketchum seeing Pikachu doing watergun. we had the word "impossible" written all over our faces. coz the potassium manganate which was purple would decolourise when added into iron(II) sulphate. sounds cool rite adelin and kimm and all the sec 1s whose reading this? next time u all will get to do it too...make sure u look out for each other's faces k? then tell me whether u got see the word "impossible" a not. studied after sch...then played soccer...super sian la...i had lyk one million chances and only scored one. the others either hit the post or were blocked by the goalkeeper or went inches wide so in the end my team lost 1-5. i guess today's jux not my day....=(
wait!!! now i noe why its not my day!! coz its XIUWEN's DAY!!!lol..her bday today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY XIUWEN!!



had to walk around in sch with a stupid painful blister on my foot. summore today got PE!! rarr!! so ended up being the defender...actually i lyk playing defender...i think its the most fun role in the game! =D then keep bumping into adelin today...PE see her...then during maths also see her...maths lesson kanna suaned by Ms Lee and Ms Ng. Ms Lee was lyk "how nathanael? i got count the marks correctly a not this time?" after wat happened during the previous test when she didnt add marks for my correct ans. then Ms Ng was lyk "so u noe abt this week's important event? y u dunno? nvr take the initiative to find out."...she bluff me la...trying to tease me abt ppl not informing me abt stuff. oh well...was really happy with my A MATH test results! jux got an A1!! woohoooo...!! =D

anyway...im hooked onto this song and the words...

Can't Live A Day
God, You are my God
So I live for you, live for you
I, I wanna sing your praise
I live for you, live for you

And I can't
Wait to sing this
song of praise
And i give my all to You

God You are my God, You are my all
And everything I give to You alone
Cause I can't live without You
I can't live a day without You
You're my King, my God
You're the one I'll praise
My life is Yours now and always
I can't live without You
I can't live a day without You!

indeed i can't live a day without You...coz You are the one who gives me breath and life.



how to start a religion?
according to the HOT TUNA, one muz have at least 500 ppl to follow his way...then it can be called a religion.
so...what if i were to start a new religion.........hmm...then lets say i call it...
SPASM! (ok..thats jux a random name..lol..)
okok...so my new religion would be SPASM! then........the ppl who follow SPASM are called........



SPASTICS!!!

lol..this is super funny...wahahah..anyway...ill stick with my religion...i dun think anyone would want to be called SPASTICS. hahas..



woke up in the morning, blurred. felt lyk going back to slp...then took the bus to church...so on the bus i was jux stoning...then suddenly something hit me! no...its not someone else's bag. i got hit by some random thought! was thinking how song titles have differed over the years. i mean...look at FALL OUT BOYS! ok...i mean their songs..this ain't a scene, its an arm race etc...then panic! at the disco songs also very long name de...cant they keep their song names short and sweet? its quite tiring for anyone who decides to say out the name...oh well...i guess fans dun relly mind.

after church service i was given a chocolate cake coz apparently the bday boy doesnt eat cake coz its too fattening!! lol..then after that went for tuition..had some formal letter writing test. my whole row cheated la...when teacher flash the ans then we quickly go change..then in the end all of us got full marks. XD dun learn from me hor...oh man..im setting a bad example!! then jp smsed me during tuition...helped her used up the money left in her prepaid card..hahas...she ah..she's some super sweet gal la..as in literally..eat sweet, ice cream etc...

watched THE LAST SAMURAI...super nice show la...abt this guy who started out fighting against samurais..then he became a samurai then fought against his own ppl..its really cool coz the samurais use swords!! its lyk......WOAH!! =D
i wanna be a samurai too!! but then...if i become a samurai...then...THE LAST SAMURAI would lose all its meaning...noooooooo....ok la..i shall be nice to Tom Cruise..dun steal the limelight from him...

anyway..im gonna zZzZ le...tired...bleahx



all this constant harrassments...trying to avoid him but somehow he has a homing device of some sort...rarr!! am i tat attractive in his eyes? ok...its jux gross talking abt it...the hairs at the ends of my hairs are even standing up...somehow i feel that this few days...the people tat i long to see i dun see them...and the people that i DO NOT long to see i see them. its jux disheartening.

anyway...news travel real fast man...now even my FAN noes abt david. ahh...!! okok...shall not say david...shall name him "he-who-shall-not-be-named"! aiya...i think wat Mr Derrick Ho said was true...i have a Mr Universe look and....i can pose lyk a model??? LOL...jux realised how funny tat was...

today whole day got stomach flu...and i still managed to play soccer after sch!! amazing!! hahas...well...im kinda in a good mood today...really wanna thank God for healing kimmm...and also....jp prayed!!this one im lyk super super chao ji overjoyed!!lol...coz i every nite pray that God work in her life and let her experience God's love...well...i guess...PRAYERS RULE!! yeah!! anyway..jux realised kimm had stomach flu too...wah..she too powerful le...spread the flu to me even tho i nvr see her...RARR!!! u ought to be nudged online!! XD

sigh...still have stomach flu....zZzZ...



wah...i think thru this few days tat i nvr post hor...many things left a mark on me..as in..literally!! now i got 3 ba la gu(means bruise...dunno where it came from too...been using this term since young!! XD)...one on each knee and another one on my right arm.wat is this?!child abuse man!! rarr!! PLEASE DONATE GENEROUSLY TO THE ANTI-NAT-ABUSE FUND!!

anyway...today kinda felt empty...didnt see a lot of my good frens...look how much u peeps mean to me man!! awwww....don't u all feel missed? hahas..anyway...after sch went for some fireman's course...super funny session learning abt things from basic first aid to CPR.the speaker was crappy man...if it wasn't him who spoke to us i think we would all be bored to death. then we had some "bandage fight party" after the whole course ended...retarded Sec 3s man...anyhow throw bandage here and there till some jap guy muz come scold us. oh..anyway...jux something random that i thought of...jap ppl have cool names man...i mean...name me a jap person with an uncool name? dun have rite? AWESOME!!! ok...after the course i went back to sch to play some soccer...i think me and WJ the soccer chemistry really improved..jux that my finishing muz be better...then summore this sat playing for the interclass soccer match...as a WINGER summore...wah sian...run up and down the field...tiring sia...maybe if i drink redbull then got wings...then can fly up and down..LOL...oh my gosh..im lyk a bit the hyper now!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! is this the nat that u noe adelin? hahas...anyway...some final words before i go watch HEROES...take care kimmm...will be praying for u...

bye guys!! =D



Alright kids! lets take a break away from "nat's emo life"....now for some advertisements!! when are advertisements ever sad or emotional? NVR!! ok...

today is EASTER SUNDAY!! (YAY!!) its when JESUS rose from the dead!! (WOOHOOO!!)
anyway...have u ever wondered why is easter associated with a bunny or an egg? i mean...wat has a bunny got to do with JESUS raising from the dead? hmm......somehow the bunny hopping symbolises JESUS "hopping" out from the dead? NAH! today i was super sad la...i see the cantonese congregation everyone got egg to bring back home...so i got super excited hoping that i would get one too...then i saw the sunday sch children each got 2 eggs...then i was lyk "wheres mine wheres mine"...at the end of my service...i had no eggs!!! rarr!!! AM I TOO OLD FOR EGGS?!?!
today i was reminded of the pain that Jesus had to bare for all of us. al those people who turned their backs on Him...can feel how He felt? i, for one being daoed by one person alr so sad...imagine Him being daoed by a sea of people...tats lyk sadness x infinity.


WHICH TO BURY, US OR THE HATCHET
I think you know what I'm getting at
I find it so upsetting that
the memories that you select
You keep the bad but the good you just forget

and even though I'm angry I can still say
I know my heart will break the day
When you peel out and drive away
I can't believe this happened

and all this time I never thought
that all we had would be all for not

No, I don't hate you
Don't wanna fight you
Know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
Cause you took this too far

I tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge
I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge

What happened to us
I heard that it's me we should blame
What happened to us
Why didn't you stop me from turning out this way



how abt we jux forget everything...
forget.....that you're in this sch
forget.....that i know you
forget.....that u are one of my good frens

"Nat's emo life" will be back shortly.....=D



read WJ's blog today and i think i really agreed with wat he said.

LIFE is a sadist

its been sadistic since the day i was born...all those times when i was having the best days of my life...it will always come down to being the worst...its lyk gravity...what goes up muz come down.

jux yesterday...the one person i was frustrated at for daoing me for a super long time talked to me...i didnt noe how to react...haix..oh well..

today was at orchard shopping for frens' bday present...then was a approached by this guy who was from a modelling agency...he passed me a namecard and told me that tomolo there was an interview and i would get paid if i was selected.

zZzZ...nothing else to blog le..jux hope that u would permanently talk to me lyk a fren...issit that hard to do it?



yesterday was a day of crapness i tell u...sigh...i felt lyk the most pathetic and lousy being in the whole wide world...yes...not jux half the world...the WHOLE world!! it seemed lyk everyone was practically daoing me la...its super frustrating when ur online and u hope tat someone will come talk to u but they dun? summore for 2hrs!! got pissed then went offline... tats not jux the end...went for tuition after that and missed the stupid shuttle bus...and i tot there would be another one half an hour later? but...i didnt realised the bus i missed was the last bus...so i waited for 30 min for nothing and took an SBS to that place...RARR!!!!!yesterday wasn't jux GOOD FRIDAY.........zZzZ....it was lyk DAO NAT DAY la....felt miserable

well...last nite reflected on what happened tat day and there were two things i've learnt.
1) God gives and takes away
2) whatever God takes away, He will make good

the second learning point really comforted me a lot and i would lyk to thank those peeps who tot that yesterday wasnt DAO NAT DAY. Derrick.Alvin.Parents.Kimmm.Adelin.Xiuwen.Eleanor.May.JP(surprisingly, but still happy tho).my tuition teacher.jamie.
you people really made my day better!! sooooo........THANKS A LOT!! =D



wed: stayed over at east coast chalet. had lots of fun the day before cross country and interclass. really bonded well with the sec 4 councillors. when it came to the briefing for the interclass, we really had to pray hard that they ppl would noe wat to do coz it was kind of a big project. slept quite late..................zZzZ

thurs: woke up at 4.30 and realised i woke up half an hour earlier!! rarr!!! why no one told me waking up at 5?!?! oh well...met up with JM and joy to recce the meeting area for the sch...reached there at around 5.30 and it was too dark so we called back and the other joy said the sec 4s will be coming in half an hour. so.......we were trying to kill time...wanted to listen to some music but apparently each of us only had one song in our hp...then we decided to watch the sunrise! waited for 20 min and we saw no sun!! well...yes i could see the sky getting brighter....but....WHERE WAS THE SUN!!! ah........!!! after that disappointment of not being able to see the sunrise...we set up the courts for interclass...then.....the interclass started...and it was BAM BOOM BANG!! i mean...it was super messy...and i think the comm ppl were really stressed...but after that it was better...i got quite pissed halfway thru too coz some classes jux dun understand wat "games will start very soon" mean...then take their time to walk as if TIME FREE LYK TAT!!! oh well...i was super relieved when it all ended...as though a heavy weight was taken off my shoulder...decided to go for a soak at the beach. was alone stoning...thinking abt a lot of stuff...haix...looking at those group of ppl having fun...i really felt pathetic.=(

well...i jux wanna noe what i did to deserve this...seriously...what charges do i have? so am i guilty? for no reason? it kinda hurts the way u're treating me...

people wont care how much you know
until they know how much you care
- Derrick

today's GOOD FRIDAY!!! remember what Jesus did for all of us ya? Thank You Lord! =)







u noe.............sometimes the world's greatest mystery is so common that we dun even realise it.

for example

why can't u hear the muffin man?

why was the bonnie at the window?

why was the bonnie lying over the ocean?

people jux dun ask this kinda qns...i guess im part of those ppl...i nvr really asked...maybe coz i didnt want to...oh well...its quite hard asking qns...i mean...lets say u go up to this guy and ask "so...can u hear the muffin man?" and the guy will give u this what-in-the-world-are-you-talking-abt-man look and says "you're weird". i think i'll most probably get that kinda ans too if i were to ask my qn. anyway...lets see what happened in the past few days...........

MONDAY:ran 2.4 and there was a dead rat which had its skin torn off on the pathway!! i guess maybe that's how i ran so fast and broke my personal record!! 9.18 min new timing!! =) then went to cheer my class and 1A...made jp chiong all the way...wahahaha...played capt's ball after that and i kinda malu'ed myself...stupid kueider...sooooo tall!!! lol..

today was one of the not-so-bad-but-still-bad day...got scolded by Mr G for not drawing diagram for my math hw...and i wasnt even there for his previous leson when he told my class to draw diagram. oh well...after sch...had fun at the Tzone...tried to play five stones...tot it was easy until the last stage. throw 5 stones and make it land on the back of ur hand...then throw up again the catch all 5. i did it once la!!! thank you everybody!! i can hear ur claps!! im touched!! =D

hmm...wonder how my days left in FMSS will be lyk...really cant bare to part with this sch...my frens...sigh...sad ah sad...

hello my name is nathanael!
and i'm hungry right now!
nice to meet you!
:D

And now I must confess That I am a sinking ship I'm anchored by the weight of my heart cause its filled with these feelings

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